So a lot has changed in the past year. In addition to no longer having a boyfriend -- in retrospect I realize spending time with him was the only thing I was doing for myself, on the two nights a week I didn't spend with my now-4-year-old son -- I'm not playing soccer any more either. Not long after I wrote my first post to this blog, I twisted my right knee during a soccer game, and foolishly kept playing to the end. It didn't feel all that bad; I guess the adrenalin kept me from realizing how serious the injury was. And during the week I babied it, and it felt good enough to play the following week... so I did.
And I haven't played since. Worse than that, I couldn't even take the stairs at work any more, which had been my brilliant solution to how to make time to work out with a long commute, a demanding job, and a young child. It wasn't long before I started gaining weight; almost imperceptibly, but after a year, it was undeniable that I'd gained at least 10 unneeded pounds. (I'd perhaps been a bit on the thin side before.)
So add to the depression of not being able to play soccer (or just about any other sport), the depression of being overweight and not fitting into my good clothes, the depression of losing someone I really cared about, and you might be able to guess that my current mood is: not good.
I can't sleep at night; I'm not hungry; I can't really focus at work. The only good to come out of this whole thing is: I have lost those 10 pounds, and then some. So I look great!
Too bad no one cares :(
2 comments:
aww!
To add to the plethora (okay fine a "few" ) of my comments - I must say:
Soccer (I prefer football) is the single greatest sport created by mankind. It's a pity you can't play, but hey heal takes time, and then bam! You'll be on the field again - so take refuge in that.
Hell, you are going through shit, so cry over it, but then stop! Accept it, and move on. Distract yourself. By lamenting the lamentable, you are making the lamentable even more lamentful. :S - if that makes some sense.
I appreciate your optimism, but I'm afraid my "football"-playing days are over. I'll enjoy football through my son from now on.
I'm relegated to dance, tennis, and -- if I'm lucky -- mountain biking. But that's okay.
Anish, if you're still playing football when you're my age, count yourself lucky!
Post a Comment